Video Strippers

I threw in a tape this week to try and catch the Jessica Simpson video that I've been hearing about on a video countdown show. You know the one. The boots one. The slutty one.

It was okay. No doubt she's hot and it was worth watching.

But I found a better one on the countdown. One I hadn't heard of. Hotter still by far.

That video was the "Pussycat Dolls" and their song "Don't Cha". 5 singers / sexy dancers fronted by a hot black-haired Latina who can sing and dance. Wow.

The chorus, if you haven't seen it, asks:

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?

Don't cha?
Don't cha?

I can answer that question. You and I both know what most males watching that video would answer.

Don't cha?

Hot. Freaky. Raw. Fun.

There are some adjectives missing from that list: pretty, intelligent, charming, wholesome, snuggly, frugal, spiritual, intuitive, interesting, lovable, friendly, etc.

The songwriter knew the hotbuttons. Hot. Freaky. Raw. Fun.

And my lizard brain knew the answer as I watched the hot, freaky, raw, fun dancing in the video: uh huh.

Yes, ladies, I know. That concept cuts both ways.

So, what's the ladies' ideal version of that song?

Picture the male dance review strippers in a video singing to you.

Fill in the blank 4 times:

Don't cha wish your boyfriend was _______ like me?

Tell me.

Saturday Morning Animalistic

I woke slowly, stirring from a deep sleep with arousing sexy dreams. She was there, snuggled into me insistently. The TV was on, an anonymous music station playing loudly. The cobwebs clear, and I know what all of this adds up to on a Saturday morning. I'm guessing the bedroom door is locked.

"Where are the boys?", I ask as hands start exploring my back.

"Still sleeping", she whispers into my ear.

And it's on.

Normally, Saturday morning sex is a quiet, sensual affair. Lots of snuggling. Lots of quiet foreplay. Lots of slow, sensual, lovemaking. Heavy on the gentle. Slow and easy penetration. Gentle rocking. Slow hands.

Not that day. I woke with a different frame of mind. Vigorous. Aggressive. Hungry.

I was all over her. Insistent. Demanding. Aroused.

Passionate kisses. Roving hands. Finding what I wanted and taking it.

Aggressive penetration.

First with my hands. Lots of lube - and then penetration. One finger, then two, then quickly three. Deep penetration. Rocking. Sawing. Finding her G-spot - oh yes, I know where it is - and locking on.

Pinning her down. Laying across her, spread eagle. Laying across one thigh, scissor pinning the other with my legs.

Penetration. Deep, insistent. Claiming her.

And she responds. God, does she respond. Like she's never responded before. Out of her mind with pleasure. More, deeper she asks. Moaning. Begging. Delerious.

And I deliver.

Vigorous. Aggressive. Demanding.

Penetration, my cock taking her. Not gentle rythmic insertions that morning. Rough. Pounding. Slamming.

Vigorous. Aggressive.

One hour. more.

Missionary. Doggy. Head pushed down into the pillow. Forceful. Animalistic.

And she responds. God, does she respond.

Hour and a half.

Vigorous. Aggressive.

Until she's spent. And happy.

I can still learn some things about her. Nice to know.

Speaking a Fantasy Aloud, Part II

As I said in my last post, some fantasies are too personal to say aloud to anyone. Some clearly will never happen. This one probably fits in the last category, and is easy to explain.

I would like to tie a pretty girl up in a rope body suit, like this one featured in a post (here) on the blog "The Wet Spot". (Thank you Suki and Sanyu for the inspiration.)

The technique is illustrated here:

(Click here)

Soft, colored rope - red or blue, lovingly tied by my hands.

Then, properly tied and dressed, we would head out for a night at a strip club where I would watch her getting deliciously fondled in a lapdance, knowing what lay beneath the clothing.

It's just a fantasy. But I may head out to the home depot today anyway.

Although....I do still have that red leather bondage kit (collar, wrist restraints, ankle restraints, etc.) in a backpack hidden somewhere - still unused....

Speaking a Fantasy Aloud

Since I seem to be on a threesome theme here in the last couple of posts, let me comment again on the male fantasy of a guy-girl-girl threesome.

I realized the other night, when a beautiful young stripper asked me what my 3 favorite fantasies are, that a sexual fantasy is a very personal thing. Some fantasies are so personal that I don't think you could ever voice them out loud, even to your longtime partner. I think. But, since a threesome fantasy is pretty common, let's talk about that.

Said simply, my fantasy is not strictly a threesome. It's two on one. I want to share a girl with a girl. In the sense of the stories often told on "Naked Loft Party" (see my sidebar link) where Lex and his girl Les share a variety of girls between them.

In other words, the fantasy is not for two girls to please me. For both to be focused on me. Although I wouldn't turn that down, that's not how I see it.

My fantasy is for female Partner, who is sexually into me as well, who wants to make love to a Girl and to do that with me. Ideally, Girl would be a stripper that we met at a club and took home with us.

Partner and I would be focused on Girl. Finding her. Seducing her. Taking her. Together.

Partner and I would undress Girl together. Kiss and fondle her together. Please her together. And take our pleasure from her together.

In all of the positions you could imagine.

Giving oral. Receiving oral. Me at one end of Girl, Partner at the other, continuously, with lots of eye contact between me and Partner. Me behind Girl, cupping her tits and holding them for Partner to suck on.

My fingers in Girl - Girl's tongue on Partner. Me fucking Girl while Partner rubs her clit.

Eventually, a strap-on for Partner and we take her between us.

Girl sucking on me while partner fucks her on all fours.

Double penetration, with Partner on her back and Girl on top riding the strap-on. Me behind taking Girl in the ass while I lean over Girl and kiss Partner.

Partner and I, taking Girl together.

That's what I call a threesome.

4 1/2 Hour Threesome

Me, and two sexy girls. Gorgeous girls. Kissable girls. Named:

R*chel McAd*ms (Wedding Crashers)

Sc*arlett Joh*nsen (The Island)

The fam was off doing things, so I took myself out for a Friday night double feature at the local multi-screen. Plush seats. Stadium seating. Popcorn refills. And a book to read between shows.

Wedding Crashers was better than I expected. Very funny. The Island was ok, worth seeing but not great.

The two girls made the outing worth the effort.

Rachel - a fun girl, pure and simple. A great smile. Very kissable. Great hips.

Scarlett - the most kissable lips on the silver screen, bar none. Every moment that she was on screen, with that tossled blonde hair and lost look, I just wanted to kiss those lips.

Oh, and there were some guys and other people in the movie or something.

Rachel and Scarlett and me, my 4 1/2 hour threesome.

Three in a Booth

Two ladies. One black, one blonde. One young, one younger. One slow, one frenetic. Two beautiful strippers. And me. Nice.

I was only scouting a club, not planning to stay. I was looking at this club with a mind to visit again later and at length with a companion. But the club slowly drew me in.

It was quiet, at first, when I got there. One stage out of two open, with a lonely dancer circling by the empty tiprail. Almost as many waitresses as customers. The staff dressed in a tropical theme. An early evening vibe in the club. I'll just have a seat for a while and check it out.

To stay out of the way, in scouting mode, I chose a booth along the edge of the club instead of a table in the middle. Maybe a dancer would join me on the couch, I hoped. And soon enough, from out of nowhere, one did.

Dancer came around the DJ booth and I just had a brief glance before she slid in. Tall. Blonde. Stacked with long sexy legs. Dressed in red. Pretty. A Cameron Diaz look to her. She slid into the booth and snuggled up against me. She felt good, very good, snuggled into me. I could like this. We chatted for a while as I bought her a drink. Dancer was older than the others, as she told it, but that's alright. They don't all have to be hardbody 18 year olds. I actually prefer an older dancer. She's comfortable with the transaction, the interplay of two strangers meeting in this situation. She doesn't necessarily have to talk the small talk. It's okay to just sit and be with each other. I like that. Minimal talk about my job. Again, I like that. Just small talk about clubs.

After a drink, we dance. A private dance in public - on couches off to the side. As we wait, I ask the question: what are the rules? Suprising me, she answers "you can touch anywhere but the crotch. Boobs, butt, sides, anywhere." Really?

So, we dance. One song - very erotic. Instant headspace. Dancer's routine is to stay on my lap, straddling me, and grind while I touch. Softly, the fingertip routine. Loving her skin with my fingers. Along her back, her sides, her legs, her hips. Cradling her derriere. Beautiful. Sexy. Unbelievable. A second song - erotic still with my appreciation obvious. No talk between us, just contact. her lips nuzzled into my neck. My hands exploring. Unbelievably nice.

Back to my booth I go, soon to meet my next dancer. A vision in red. Very, very young. Black and beautiful and sexy, reminding me of Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child. She was animated and talkative and I was glad she was sitting with me. A drink, again, and we were off to the private dance - her first of the evening. Dancer was energetic as she writhed on and around my lap. Playful, undressing me and grabbing my hands and placing them on her perfect small tits. Wow. One dance and I had to stop before I emptied my wallet.

Back to my booth I go, and to my delight both girls rejoined me. A threesome in my booth. My arms along the back of the couch around each's shoulders. Blonde with her leg thrown over mine and snuggled into me. Black with her hand on my thigh, an exciting touch. Tantalizing talk - "What are your top 3 fantasies", she asked me. "You don't know me well enough to ask me that", I replied. Hmmmm, let me think. This threesome in the booth is coming close to one of them.

My blonde dancer had to exit to go on stage. My sexy black dancer and I knocked off two more private dances. Frisky and frenetic and creative. Dancer took my hand and spanked herself with it. Yeow! That may be one of my fantasies, after all. Try it out, she offered. And I did, loudly spanking one of her small tasty cheeks. Smack! "Again", she offered. Smack! I could enjoy this. "Now you have to think of two more", she said laughing. And she was off to freshen up.

Back to my booth. I've passed the point of just scouting. I'm in. I'm deep in. And the touch rules of the private dance are drawing me in deeper. And I'm not done yet. Blonde Dancer appears at the booth again and we're off to the private dance again. Now, I like the fun of the frantic bump and tickle of my sexy black Dancer - but I love the slow sensual dance of my blonde Dancer. And I want more.

She asks for a back massage as we wait on the couch for a song to start. I close my eyes and set my fingers to work. Softly, on her neck and down her back. Very enjoyable. "You're good at that", she says as the song interrupts. "It's all in the fingertips", I reply. And that's true of the touch-allowed lapdance as well. It's all in the fingertips. And my fingertips get busy. It's good. Very good. Dancer settles in on my lap, staddling me facing me, and stays there. I'm hard, and she finds me and connects to me, and stays there. Rocking against me. My fingertips loving her skin. Purring into her neck.

I have to have more.

And after a brief break, we head to the 1/2 hour VIP.

Wow. The perfect 1/2 hour lapdance. A beautiful, mature, confident woman naked on my lap for 1/2 hour. Connected. The simulated making-out at it's best. Dancer is tuned to my needs, totally. She rides my lap, staying close to me, leaning into me. Breathing hotly into my ear. Nuzzling into my neck. The almost-kiss in slow motion. Looking into my eyes as she rides me. My fingertips caressing her lovely body. One hand holding the back of her head gently - he cheek nuzzling my cheek - my other hand cupping her breast. Loving her breasts with my hands - cupping them, tracing them gently with my fingertips, slowly rolling her nipples between my fingertips. It looks like, and feels like, we are completely making out. I know it's an act for her, but it's real - within bounds - to me. I'm not kissing her, for example, but almost and I'm sharing her space and nuzzling into her. And it's very, very nice.

Time's up and the dance is over. I've spent enough money to have gotten laid. Twice. So much for scouting. And now it's time to go.

But I'll remember my time in the booth with a Dancer snuggled into each side. My Dancer threesome. And our times in private, separately.

With two girls. Two beautiful, sexy strippers. Thank you ladies.

As a sidenote, I'll mention a tip about the lap grinding. I may have said this before on this blog, but here it is again. The male member is not made for 1/2 of dry humping through clothes. In and out, lubricated, yes. Grinding on top of, no. I always feel like I've sprained my Johnson when I do that. Ouch. Lighter and slower would be better. I don't actually need the grinding, seeing as how I'm not going to get off. I need the headspace and the cheek nuzzling and the almost-makeout. But who's complaining

Passion and Ink

I should have kept on driving. It was a long day, stretching into a long night, and fatigue was setting in. The club was on the way home and I rationalized a stop for a break, even if it would eventually be just going through the motions.

Pretty girls on shift. Young girls. New girls even. But in my fatigue, I opted for the simplicity of dancers that I knew.

First, Passion. Beautiful as always. More upbeat than she had been of late. A hug to start, one of her full body passionate hugs. It almost woke me up. Some talk at the table to catch up. And dances, three to finish her night. Sexy. Comfortable. Nice. And she was out.

I had enough energy, and dollars, for a couple of more dances - but with who? Honestly, I didn't have it in me to meet someone new. A regular dancer, but who?

And then I saw her at the bar. And I made my choice. Ink.

It had been at least a year since I had seen her. I wrote about her then - here.

She's very recognizable, with her platinum blonde hair and full body tattoos. A work of art, really. Striking.

She hadn't changed. Still aloof. Sitting at the bar instead of working the room. Me would come to her. Or, as with me, she would make arrangements for a dance during her stage set.

No table talk. All business. "Are you ready for a dance?", she asked. I may be asleep, but yes I am.

And we danced. Dancer turns on like a switch when the music starts. Full body contact. Comfortable with her body, unafraid of mine. A routine, sensous and engaged. No response from me, physically. I'm just too tired. But I was interested visually and I did enjoy her touch. Especially when she lifted my shirt and then raked me from back to front around my midsection with her long, long fingernails. Wow. That was different. Two songs, very sensous, very nice. And then off like a switch.

Some money gone. Some time spent. Still not rested.

I got the $2 pizza, watched some awesome new girls' first dances. So young. So thin. So blonde.

And then I climbed back in my car and finished my trip on autopilot.

Passion and Ink, my break from the road.

Summer Girls and Endless Thrilling Rides

I skipped clubbing this week and took my kids to a summer fair instead. I spent about the same amount of money and had more fun - as much as you can have without getting a lapdance anyway. I'm kidding of course. It's an awesome time.

But it does make for a long night for your basic voyeuristic guy:

Watch the kids on the carousel.

Watch some girls in tight shorts.

Watch them on the scrambler.

Watch some girls in sun dresses.

Watch them on the roller coaster.

Watch some pretty wives stroll by with their guy and their kids.

Watch them on bumper cars.

Watch some girls with low cut jeans and sexy swishing hips.

On and on and on for hours.

Until my feet hurt, my eyes were sore, and my wallet was empty.

A good night out.