Horny Meanderings

- Ah spring. The tight short shorts and tanned legs and perky halter tops are blooming. Can sundresses and bikinis be far behind. How’s a guy supposed to concentrate?

- I saw a VH1 special on Simon Cowell of American Idol. It seems that in between dispensing hope-crushing criticism to would be pop stars, Simon is a ladies man. He’s got the cash, he’s got the cars, and he’s got the wild side to go with it. It seems that Simon loves strip clubs and, more importantly, strippers. Simon! My man.

- During a horny moment on a trip through the local video rental establishment I succumbed to temptation and rented “Wild Things 2”. Who could forget the surprise threesome scene in the original “Wild Things” with Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, (and their hot kiss) and the guy. (I know his name, but who cares? He’s a guy.) Of course the sequel smartly tries to recreate the threesome scene. This time in more detail. It wasn’t particularly hot. It looked like 3 people acting out a threesome. But I will say that in that scene Leila Arcieri (the wild one) has the most beautiful nipples I’ve ever scene on screen. Definitely lickable.

- Ditto Elisha Cuthbert’s lips in “The Girl Next Door”.

- And I'm mesmerized by the hula girls dancing in the background of the video for Kenny Chesney and Uncle Kracker's song "When the sun goes down". Can I please get in the van with all of them.