Doctor DanceFan's Advice to a "Newbie"

A recent emailer asked the following excellent strip club "newbie" questions:

Recently, I made my first visit to a strip club after putting in off for years and years. In the last few weeks I've gone 4 times! The experience has been better than I imagined. I've been sort of getting used to the whole scene and trying to figure out how it all works. I have a couple quick questions that I hope you can help me with:

1. Should I wait for a particular girl that I like to offer me a dance, or is it acceptable to get up and track her down and ask her for one? What I've done so far is just sort of sit away from the stage and get a look at all the girls working that night and pick out 1 or 2 that I like the best. A dozen other girls will make offers that I turn down as I wait and hope for the one I like to make an offer.

2. Is it proper to only accept dances from 1 or 2 girls that you really like? Sure, all the girls are attractive, but I find that I really like a couple of particular girls. They have the body type and look that I love. Last Saturday, I waited all night for this one that I had a dance from the week before to ask me, but she never did. I felt awkward turning down all the other offers and felt a little like I was hurting their feelings. Perhaps, I thought, the dancers are told not to let a guy get hooked on just them.

My answers to my new email friend:

Excellent questions. I can definitely relate. I wonder if the dancers know that we are sitting there struggling with these questions and choices.

Here is how I've worked these questions out for myself:

I've tried nights where I've had one dance apiece with lots of girls. And I've had nights when I did a lot of dances with just one girl. I'm glad I tried the first way, but I prefer the second. So I choose and focus.

The girls, friendly as they are, are there to work. That means making the rounds and asking almost everybody over the course of the night if they want a dance. Even the best get turned down some amount of the time. Just keep in mind that for the most part it's not personal. They're working. You're buying.

The hardest thing to learn in a club is to say no. There's some amount of temptation in most of the girls that ask you for a dance. And it does make you feel guilty to say no to a girl just trying to make a buck. However, you're there to maximize your enjoyment dollar. Dances just to help you not feel guilty never make you feel better.

Bottom line: your goal is to get dances with dancers you choose and politely refuse the rest. It's your twenty bucks.

Within reason you're in control. Select "your type" and focus on them. You can turn down the others. Just be polite and say "No thank you". No long excuses.

How do I choose who I want to dance with?

If it's a new club for me I'll spend time at the tiprail learning about (auditioning?) the girls and choosing my type. It's not that expensive ($1 a song) and it's cheaper than a $20 mistake. Besides, I have fun at the tiprail. And in most clubs the dancers don't approach you for dances if you're at the tiprail so you have to say no less often.

How do I arrange a dance after I've chosen?

I try to arrange a later private dance with a dancer I like at the tiprail during her stage show. When you're tipping her just say "Would you come dance for me after you're off the stage?" That usually works unless it's a really busy night and she has already made commitments.

I've definitely experienced having trouble catching the attention of a dancer I was interested in for a variety of reasons. It's frustrating.

You can improve your odds by:

- be relaxed but focused. It'll happen
- go earlier in her shift or when it's less busy
- enlist help. Ask a manager if they could arrange a dance for you. Or a waitress or even the DJ who could call them to the booth for you. (Tip them.)

Mostly make sure you're having fun and spending what you can afford.

posted by DanceFan at 4/25/2004 07:33:35 PM