Two Questions

One of my readers, a delightful and interesting girl, is thinking about going to a club for the first time. We've had some conversations about what she would encounter.

I asked her two questions:

First Question: what would she wear to the club?

"What would I wear to a strip club? How should I know? - I've never been! Well, let's see, oh jeez, you want details? Hang on, lemme look in my closet... Probably some kind of skirt, my knee high black patent leather boots, a funky button up blouse or tank top. Definitely not jeans and a t-shirt. I guess I'd try for something a little sexier, but not too - I'm not there to compete with professionals. No lingerie as outer-wear. I might try for the cool sophisticate look since there probably wouldn't be too many other women dressed like that in such a place and that could be what makes special, unique. How about this - my boots, a miniskirt and a tight, black short sleeved turtle-neck shirt? Or, instead of the turtle-neck, a sheer blouse with a tank top underneath."

Nice. Very Nice. I can picture it. And probably right on target.

Second Question: would she be aware of the male reaction to her in the club? Would she know that all of the men in the club would keenly and lustfully know that she was there, even in the midst of dancers? (What I've referred to before as my Girl-Dar)

"I guess it's hard for me to imagine that I would even begin to command a drop of attention from any guy there when there are beautiful naked women all over....It's almost ludicrous to think about..."

And later...

"Why would guys be lusting more for me (or some other tastefully dressed civilian girl) than a stripper? I'm just not getting that, so please elaborate. It must be yet another facet of men's sexuality that I don't understand."

My answer:

Okay, for the next 5 minutes Dr. DanceFan is in to answer your questions. I'll get deeply philosophical here and approach your question on why guys would lust after you instead of (or more appropriately in addition to) the strippers from 3 angles:

1) A stripper put my thoughts on this into the right words once. She was aspiring to be an "unobtainable". There is a class of strippers who command high dollar because they are perceived to be unobtainable by almost all of the guys in the room. You look at these girls and your brain locks in the thought that you could never in a million years date or be with a girl like this. Men will spend mucho dollars to spend any time with her. They seriously "bank". The girls who are perceived as "could be my girlfriend" earn less. It's a mystical quality that my highly astute and perceptive dancer friend was studying and trying to acquire.

You, as a cute well dressed civilian girl in the club, likely there with a guy because you couldn't get in alone, would fall in the "unobtainable" class. Therefore you are highly prized.

2) Men are above all hard wired to crave variety. No matter what we have, we crave something different. Not better. Not more. Just different. An example I've cited before is Halle Berry. World recognized as one of the most beautiful women on the planet and her husband still cheated on her. Not condoned, but understood. We're creatures driven by a desire for variety. Want another example? How often have you rented a movie in a video store that you've seen more than once before? Not me. I'm in the "New Release" section. And who represents variety in the strip club? To the newbie in the club the strippers represent variety from his wife/girlfriend etc. To both the regulars and the newbies in the club you, as the cute well dressed sexy civilian girl, represent variety from the 20 semi-naked strippers.

3) You're a girl. And you're sitting closer to them than the dancers do. They don't need another reason to lust after you.

Okay. Dr. DanceFan is back out.

Thanks to my offline friends and the facinating chat.