Buying a Limited Reality

I have to say that I'm intrigued this week by others commenting on the "fantasy" element of this blog. It's always interesting to see how other people see you.

Peter Throckmorton of Jane's Guide.com, in his review of this blog (rating: "Quality Original")which I greatly appreciated, said this:

"Throughout the entries he honors the dancers by putting them on unrealistic pedastals, and discusses at length the fantasy "GFE" [girl friend equivalent] one-sided experience that he creates for himself, for the price he pays for a dance. On the other hand, despite how much of what is here is pure fantasy, he does clearly speak the voice of the strip club customer, which is more thousands and thousands of men across the world than anyone would admit. It is easy to read the blog and sense his world as he sees it. There are a lot of blogs out there where current or former dancers speak their minds about their experiences - here's one from the guys' side."

Two uses of the word "fantasy" in that paragraph.

Joe Bloggs, in a recent comment answering a question from Michael Portnoy about whether or not a dancer may be selling me an illusion of friendship, said:

"Yes, but it doesn't matter does it? She's selling a fantasy, DanceFan is buying a fantasy, part of that fantasy is that he has a sexy friend. Good enough for me!"

Thanks for commenting, guys.

Interesting. Is the dancer selling a fantasy? Am I buying a fantasy?

I thought about those comments this week and I realized that I see it slightly differently.

I agree that the dancer is selling a fantasy. Customer after customer. Song after song. Night after night. She is selling. It's a transaction, absolutely.

I agree that some customers might be buying a fantasy.

I think, however, that I'm not. It's not a fantasy experience for me. Fantasy involves an illusion. In this case, the illusion would be that dancer is my girlfriend in some sense or is really "with" me in some sense. I don't have that illusion. I know exactly what the situation is.

I would say that what I'm buying in the strip club experience is a limited reality.

I have no illusions after 20 plus years of visiting strip clubs. I don't imagine that dancer is my girlfriend. I don't imagine that she has feelings for me, with rare exceptions with dancers that I have spent a lot of time with. I don't imagine a relationship at all.

I do believe that the two of us can have a real connection in this context, however, on ocassion. We can break through the routine for a moment and have a moment of experience together. When I talk about the GFE, girlfriend experience, I'm not focused on the girlfriend part but the experience part. A moment of real connection. A limited reality.

And I know exactly what I'm buying in the club all night: time, conversation, visual memories, and - most importantly - safe physical contact with a lovely young nude or semi-nude girl. Sensous contact in close quarters. Limited, of course, within the confines of the transaction, the rules, and my gentlemanly contact. A limited reality.

That's my view of what I'm buying.

Let's explore this further in my next post with a recent club experience....