There's No Sex in the Champagne Room

....as comedian Chris Rock famously says in his routine. "You can get champagne in the Champagne Room. But there's no sex in the Champagne Room!"

So, a friend asked me the other day "Will any of the dancers, ... you know, "get you off" for a little extra money?"

My answer: unequivocally no. Against the rules. Don't even ask. At least I've never asked.

That's not what I go to a strip club for anyway - to get off.

I go for the Headspace.

What's the Headspace? It's the connection between me and Dancer that's mental. That's the sexiest. In the head.

Sure, I'm into the physical. I enjoy the grind on the lap, smothered between natural or impossibly stuffed breasts. Totally.

But it's the headspace that I'm after.

I know, I know, it's an illusion. A cash transaction. A simulation.

But occasionally, I get to experience the feeling that I'm a millisecond away from passionately making out with this ravishingly beautiful girl half my age that I would never have in life outside the club. And I live in that millisecond.

Some dancers are oblivious to the headspace. They probably have to be. It's a dissociative survival jobskill to stick to the routine over and over all night. To get through the creeps.

Some dancers are very skilled at simulating the headspace, with all the right noises, etc.

With a select few I get to share the headspace and the pleasing is mutual to a point. And that's when it's magic.

If you asked me about my 5 favorite dancers, it wouldn't be about huge tits or platinum blond hair or thigh high boots or even who'll pay attention to my cock. (Although I like all those things!) It's about who'll share the Headspace with me. The almost-makeout.

Make sense? I hope so. It makes me a happier club patron.

Because "there's no sex in the Champagne Room".

(Originally posted by DanceFan at 11/11/2003 11:48:24 PM)